Match reports – May 29th 2021

Summer Palace (3) vs (0) Rockets

They’ve done it! Summer Palace secured their place in the championship playoff with an impressive win against Rockets, proving that Rocket fuel doesn’t melt Palace’s nerves of steel.

Palace got off to a quick start with the league’s most fearsome finisher (*some details modified for storytelling purposes) Tommy P scoring after just 5 minutes. Tommy P would almost double his tally after rounding the keeper but placed it just wide with his weaker left foot. Palace’s second goal would come from Ole who hit a looping volley that span on the bounce and caught the keeper out.

The second half would see little change, with the Palace defence giving no opportunities to the Rockets attack. Wim, minutes after being subbed on, would pick the ball up in the midfield and, seeing how far forward he would have to run, hit a speculative shot from 35 yards which arrowed into the top corner. Absolute screamer!

Despite the win there was one negative for Palace, which was Marcel who had the ball smashed in his face by Jothan. Despite his teammate going off injured, Jothan looked pleased at finally finding a teammate with a pass.

Palace face Celtics B in the championship playoff in a couple of weeks. COME ON PALACE!!!!!!

 

 

FCFC (6) vs (1) Anejo

FCFC arrived at fortress Guanyintang knowing that they needed a win to ensure the title charge remained in their hands and produced a dominant win over their Spanish opponents. The game kicked off at 6pm, apparently to avoid scheduling conflicts with the Champions League final. FCFC played with a barebones squad, having just 11 players at kick-off and had to borrow a few Palace players. Unfortunately, star man Tommy P was unavailable after doing a spartan run and then playing for 90 minutes (in 490BC an actual spartan ran 26 miles after fighting a battle against Persia, but apparently 90 minutes and a muddy run is enough for modern day millennial snowflake “Spartans”).

While the likes of De Bruyne, Mahrez, and Sterling spent 90 minutes not scoring, the fearsome attacking trio of Turtle, TOM, and Paul took only 30 seconds to put FCFC ahead. Turtle ran onto a long ball from McLuckie, crossed across the face of goal, and the ball was tapped in by Paul (although some sources say it was an own goal).  Paul would come close shortly after, chipping over the out of position keeper, but the ball fell just wide of the post.

#conorOffPens would start to rebuild his reputation by scoring FCFC’s second of the game, clever link up play in the final third saw #conorOffPens one on one, and he coolly slotted home. FCFC would continue to dominate, and Turtle would finally find the net, shooting into the bottom corner after beating the Anejo centre back with a clever touch.

FCFC would continue to dominate in the second half and their relentless attacks paid off, with McLuckie volleying home from a corner. #conorOffPens would score his second of the game with a completely forgettable finish (as I have forgotten how he scored it), before Anejo would pull a goal back, with their winger tapping in from the back post as the FCFC defence took a mid-game siesta. #conorOffPens would finish the game off with his hattrick goal, curling the ball into the bottom corner from the edge of the area.

FCFC head into the final game of the season against Afrika knowing that a draw or win will see them qualify for the championship playoffs.