Match report for Palace vs Azzurri

Sunday found the boys from Palace preparing to face what promised to be a tough team in the Italian Azzurri.  The warmups saw Ben Roberts asking questions of sunscreen, and from the kickoff his teamates began asking more pertinent questions of the Azzurri defense.  Pressing wing play finally paid off when Jochen found the back of the net on a good lay-off from Ian Crouch.  More good play from the opposite wing led to another great goal from Jochen and a 2-0 advantage at the half.

Play resumed after Ben Roberts finished signing autographs for some fans of the Hellboy movies and momentum stayed with our side as Ian Crouch scored his first goal in his first appearance.  His blistering pace proved too much for the outmatched Italian fullbacks, and Crouchies strike stuck like a dagger in the fading Italian hopes.  Amir then put in a very well placed top corner goal to end any real doubt.  Eager to add to the tally, Lee Russell found himself free with only the keeper to beat but ended up tasting only rubber shavings and shame as he took a spill.  Shortly thereafter Lee R again found himself in front of goal and he remained on his feet to finish from Ian Crouch’s perfectly weighted lofted pass.  Jim So then found himself one on one near the corner flag and dove twice, the second time in the box where he earned a penalty.  Jochen rose to the occasion, netting his third and encouraging further comparisons to Gerd Muller.  The last course of this goal feast was served when Amir took the ball near half and cruised majestically past 4 hapless defenders and blasted a shot past the keeper from 20 yards out for his second goal.  Final score: Summer Palace 7 – Azzurri 0

After the game Jochen took the man of the match award with 6 votes (Amir second on 3).

The donkeys of the day were the divers Lee Russell and Jim So (4 and 3 votes, respectively).  Theories of a rooftop sniper or buried landmines are being discussed pending further analysis.  Eyewitness accounts vary.

Lee Russell