Match Report: Summer Palace vs Lao Hu

Match Report: Summer Palace 0 – 0 Lao Hu Internazionale

Week 3 in the IFFC 1st Division saw Summer Palace go head-to-head with fellow title contenders Lao Hu Internazionale. As ever, the fixture was compelling for its clash of styles- The Lao Hu team boasting energy, technique and movement and Palace displaying age, experience and – as Lao Hu’s youthful ‘keeper put it – “a bunch of massive dicks”.

The match began with Palace snapping into tackles and making their presence felt; in the middle Gab and new boy, Alex were preventing Lao Hu’s central duo from perpetuating their side’s usual passing fluidity. When they did get into exciting areas, Palace’s rotating back-line of Jason Kaye, Peter, Donald, Edu and Patrick were behaving much like the girls on the youngsters’ first awkward dates, “no entry here”. Up top, perennial child abuser, Crouchy was giving their defense a torrid time with his movement and physicality, it looked like it would be only a matter of time until Rowan’s pre-match war-cry of “Make them cry” was realised.

Indeed, after 15 minutes of midfield attrition, Palace were awarded a free-kick 35 yards from goal. Despite Lao Hu’s entire schoolboy side being taller than Ben, Palace were always likely to be most dangerous from set pieces. Gab’s whipped cross to the back-post was turned goal-wards by Jason Kaye only for the ball to deflect off Lao Hu’s ‘keeper and over the bar. Like a teenager’s first clumsy fumblings in the bedroom, his success owed more to luck than judgement. The match proceeded to half-time with much the same pattern of play, Palace creating the odd half-chance and Lao Hu struggling to establish themselves in the game.

The second half commenced with the sun sapping energy from Palace’s tired legs. Lao Hu began to find their passing rhythm but were still struggling to penetrate Palace’s resolute defense. On the few occasions they cut through, they found Jason Dorey guarding his goal more stubbornly than a 16 year-old guards her v plates. While Dorey’s reflexes were frustrating Lau Hu’s strikers, Bobby’s protective refereeing was incensing Palace’s outfield. Crouchy was booked for assaulting a minor – in Crouchy’s defense the boy did put in a reckless challenge and was one of the few who had the audacity to not look petrified when Crouchy threatened to kill him, he needed to learn.

Palace tried rotating the wings in an effort to disrupt the pattern of the game and while the tactic did not create many openings it did allow Blythe to nominate himself for post-match awards by kicking his shoe further than the ball and indulging in a swing, miss and pirouette (not landed) when attempting to cross.

Though the game drew to its conclusion with Lao Hu enjoying plenty of possession but no penetration, Palace created the contest’s final chance. Crouchy held off challenges down the left channel to cross low to the near-post, Blythe’s shot was blocked by a combination of keeper and defender and the ball fell to Gab three yards out. Not usually one to show mercy to the impressionable, Gab experienced a first in his life- being kept out by a teenager’s legs.

The game may have ended in a stalemate, but Lao Hu went back to their homework and Summer Palace went to the pub – there’s victory there somewhere. Voting was an intimate affair with only 4 players present. Boosted by many text votes, Dorey and Edu shared MOM- Dorey for his saves and Edu for his huge tackle (his lady-friend is yet to confirm this rumour) – and Blythe picked up DOM. B52s led to a heavy night out for some and special mention must go to selfless acts made by FCFC players on that night: Donald, for not only knowing 4 single hot girls, but also for bringing them along to Luga’s to meet the team. And Crouchy, whose generosity knows no bounds 🙂

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G3: Squad: Summer Palace vs Lao Hu

Below is the squad list for our league game vs Lao Hu. The game kick off is scheduled for 2 PM tomorrow, Saturday 22nd September, at the Lido. Meet at the pitch at 1:30 PM at the latest, please don’t be late as we’ll need our best starting 11 and all the subs ready to make a good start in this game.
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G3: Summer Palace vs Lao Hu


We are currently top of the league table with 2 wins in 2 games, let’s try to make it 3 out of 3.

This coming Saturday we are playing the high school team Lao Hu, which promises to be a tough game especially as we knocked them out of the cup earlier this season (2-2 draw, Palace won on penalties) and they will be looking for revenge.

The game is scheduled for Saturday, for a 2 PM kick off at the Lido. Who is available? Please reply ASAP and don’t forget to attend training tomorrow evening (Wednesday 8-10 PM at the Lido, as ever).


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SQUAD: Cup Match Summer Palace vs Lao Hu

Summer Palace!

Competitive football is back! The squad for Sunday is below, meet at 13:15 at LIDO (the pitch we train on).

SQUAD [removed]

That’s a maximum squad number of 18. We’ve had excellent numbers in training and over 20 players available to play so if you cannot make it for any reason, text/call me so someone else can be included.

FOR THE OLD PLAYERS: Please bring 100RMB for registration.

FOR THE NEW PLAYERS: Please bring:
100RMB for registration
A photocopy of your passport
230RMB for kit
There is no need to bring a registration form or passport photos, the league will take a photo of each player on Sunday and the online registration form will be available to be completed soon.

Please note that match fees go towards paying the pitch fees, no-one from FCFC makes any money from the club.

Our cup run starts here, FOOOTBAAAALLLL!


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Cup Match: Summer Palace vs Lao Hu

Hello Citizens!

The IFFC draw has been made, Ben was present and it was riveting stuff.

It’s Lao Hu vs Summer Palace, Sunday 2 pm at Lido Pitch. Be there kitted up at 1:30 PM.

This email has gone out to the whole squad training list, let me know now if you are YES or NO. We will choose a team depending on training, but also to make sure you are not ‘cup-tied’. City will be playing in the cup later this year (they skip the first rounds as we came second in the premiership) and you can only play for one team.

You need to be properly registered with IFFC before you can play in an official match. So .. existing players please bring an extra ¥100 to training. New players, bring ¥300 (includes your kit) and passport copy and passport photo and registration form). We will collect at training on Wednesday.

Please reply by Thursday lunchtime so we can announce the squad list on Friday.

Forbidden City will also be playing a friendly versus a Chinese side on Saturday afternoon. See the separate email about that.

Get Involved!

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Match Report: Cup Match City vs Lao Hu

City began with a double boost , first of all Big Jim had not returned to Beijing over the summer, and secondly Ivan hadnt grown his pony tail backThis was city’s first competitive game of the season. Captain Philippe was determined for a good start – “its a new season and its critical we take this game serious” said Philippe as he staggered home from Sanlitun at 6am on Sunday morning .

The opposition, from a local school, had an average age similar the Sheff’s recent girlfriends and they had all the eagerness of a bunch of 15year olds with a new lingerie catalogue. To cope with the young opposition City brought in some News Kids off the Block, including Tommy, Paul and PieterBas.
Early in the game it was obvious city were missing Matty Dunn and Andy – there hadn’t been a single fight and no-one was abusing the ref or other city players.
Fabio danced around their keeper to give city the lead, but just before half time Phillippe subbed himself and brought on his 94 year old Corsican great grandfather, who couldnt match the pace of their forward. Baz tried his best, but as the 15 year old shot his load early, it slid through Baz’s legs unexpectedly. Half time 1-1
With the game heading for a draw and a soggy biscuit shoot-out awaiting the 15 year olds, City grabbed a goal through new boy tommy. New front man Jason Dorey (fresh from his “i cant play for City cos i played for Palace, but i didnt play for palace cos i am playing for City” cup tied confusion) finally turned up and then crossed for Ally to put the game safe at 3-1.   soon it was “4 on 1” after Ivan scored and the 15 year olds were wondering if it would end in a game of 5 on 1, like most evenings.  they looked tired and it was clear a few of them wanted to be “pulled off”
Congratulations to City and a free night in Maggies for all the team.
A good effort by the 15 year old and free link to the yaodian lingerie section for their efforts
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Cup: FCFC vs Lao Hu International


Cup game this coming weekend vs Lao Hu international.

Date: Sunday 4th of September
Time: 2pm
Location: Lido Pitch

Please let me know if you’re available. In the next few days i will send out the selected squad.



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